There's someone out there

ok... to start off, I'm in love... is it bad? I think not... it's just that I easily react to anything considered "worth of protection and guidance" I don't really want people to go bad-specially the ones I care for the most... but this one's different. She made me feel like I am special in a way that I want to continue with my. the kind who would understand my true nature and feelings. I'm afraid to tell her that I have feelings for her, afraid to let our friendship go AWOL...
But I'm a man... not a mouse (no offense Jerry and Mickey mouse). I've got feelings too you know but I can't put to consideration that there may be other people more deserving of someone like her but what if that guy is me? I don't know. But what I know is that I like the way she accepts me as a friend and it will always be her choice to love me or not... Life is so difficult...
Sometimes...I think of my other loved ones...
They are very lucky (or so I think so). The fact that life has many things to offer makes me feel ok when I'm down. But life isn't life without problems you know. I think it's just me who doesn't see things as they are... sometimt\es I don't even want to see it. There's someone out there... But sometimes I really hate to acknowledge that. I hate myself for this feeling (who wouldn't?).
People can get too tacky sometimes... too insensitive. That includes me... Buzzing fear rings through my mind that makes me go numb... I just have to accept myself as I am. But will others take it in a good way?
People who take love too seriously die... those who take it for granted regret it forever... those who laugh at it end up crying... but those people who hate it never did felt the pain of being alone...
It goes without saying,"Big people will make you feel big.Small people will drag you 'til you're lower than them". If there is a fear of loving, people would have named it Amorphobia... amor meaning "love".
I guess I still have to find myself... cause whether I like it or not, SOMEONE IS OUT THERE.